Forcing Mechanisms - How to Use Them Powerfully
We often extoll that others are more motivated, moving faster than we are, are seemingly pushing themselves off the cliff better.
And yet, most of us choose comfort. Consistency. What we know. We choose to stay where we are - which in itself is a decision - to avoid the discomfort in choosing something else. That’s normal.
But there’s danger in the comfort of the constant.
Because comfort is comfortable.
That doesn’t mean that we should jump out of a plane - I did that once, it was stressful. It shockingly didn’t diminish my fear of heights.
Nah, what I’m noting for all of us is that we beat ourselves up for not being more disciplined, action-oriented, pulling ourselves up-by-the-boot-straps, yadda yadda.
Discipline isn’t about finding motivation, it’s about finding momentum.
And it’s easier to find momentum when there’s pressure coming from outside of you.
What the f do I mean?
What are Forcing Mechanisms?
Simply put - forcing mechanisms are those external factors that deeply impact you. They push you better than you can on your own.
And rather than beating yourself up for not meeting your own (very high) expectations of what is possible, it’s easier to recognize just how hard that is!
Examples of External Pressures
The Full-Time Working Job Seeker:
Someone who’s working a full-time job often struggles with finding a new role. Especially if they’re more senior and established. They’ll berate themselves over and over - why is this taking so long?! Why can’t I focus on this!?
But once their organization goes through lay-offs or a reorg with their name on the chopping block, or the funding is running out? Somehow that motivation and discipline is more easily found. Magic!
The Hopeful Exerciser:
Someone who’s been struggling to workout consistently can’t figure out why. Why is it so hard to get up early? To stay focused on their health goals? To actually show up to the workout class they signed up for?!
But once they get engaged? Suddenly they’re hitting the gym and their arms and back are popping with muscles they never knew they had! They’re happily doing a 5am workout class in the pitch-black. Wild!
The Solo Side-Hustler:
Someone who’s wanted to build their own thing is hard-pressed to give it the time it deserves in competition with working full-time, being a caring partner, and living their life. They know that they’re supposed to build it slowly on the side until they can replace 70% of their income (have you heard this?!) before they venture out full time, but simply cannot find the time.
But once they have an old colleague ask if they want to partner up and do it together? Wow, weekends and nights are booked up with lively calls, excited chats, and deliverables are flying out the door. Cool!
There’s more subtle ones, too.
I had a friend tell me how impressed they were that I sign off at 5pm. Um, I have to otherwise daycare will keep my children - just kidding but they will yell at me
Putting together that long-term strategy document is way easier when my manager is requesting it by end of week
Learning a language isn’t easy - but you’ll progress way faster living abroad than playing Duolingo - sorry, little owl!
The program that I was supporting recommended folks give 5-10 hours for the work. And everyone would say, oh, no problem- that’s only 1-2 hours a day, I can do that!
But in truth, those hours are already spoken for. It’s not like they’ve been sitting around twiddling their thumbs waiting for something to do! They’ve been cooking, cleaning, working, childcare, watching fun tv, spending time with friends.
Those same people would be so angry with themself that they “weren’t committed enough,” etc etc.
In fact, they were being unrealistic about how hard all of this is.
So here’s my invitation to you to recognize that these kinds of things are SO hard when you’re already busy, working, overwhelmed, etc. Stop beating yourself up!
And at the same time, we can create some forcing mechanisms that don’t require quitting your job, getting remarried, or snagging a co-founder just for the fun of it.
Self-Created Forcing Mechanisms
Some ideas!
Find Buddies - choose an accountability partner. You don’t have to sign up to be someone’s co-founder, but, you could find someone building, and sit next to them while you’re building!
Join Communities - find a community that’s focused on what you’re trying to accomplish or bring more out of yourself!
Access Deeper Support - find a person to help you meet your goals whether that’s a fitness coach, a career/leadership coach (heya!), or a class you want to take!
Invest in You - put your money where your mouth is. Sometimes putting money into things spurs a burst of action - not forever, but a minute! Whether that’s a consultant, a class, a community, etc!
Tell the World - most of us avoid talking about what we’re up to until it’s real, but, telling people your intentions and goals can help you maintain it with a healthy dose of peer pressure - when so-and-so asks you how the job hunt is going, you want updates to give them!
Deadlines + AI - a sneaky thing I’ve been doing is thinking about something I want to accomplish, and then asking an AI tool to put together a project plan (as a former project manager this is uber pleasing!) based on my capacity, my skillset, and the tools at my resources, then follow it!
What would you add? What’s helped you meet goals that seemed to just NOT move even though you wanted them to?
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