The Magic of Controlled Exploration
It’s extremely difficult to take action when we’re stuck in our heads.
We prefer to think our way through possibilities and outcomes. Using our imagination to consider potential outcomes and hurdles.
We often avoid taking action because we’re so damn terrified of the possible results. Often procrastination is an avoidance technique.
Why do we fear taking action? Because it’s terrifying!
The Four Horsemen of Fear
My buddy Dr. Corey Wilks talks about the Four Horsemen of Fear and one my favorite takeaways there is the realization that often procrastination, imposter syndrome, self-sabotage - it’s because one of these fears are showing up.
Fear of Failure: That you do the thing and it doesn’t work out - so don’t even try, why bother?
Fear of Success: That you do the thing and it works out and you’re not even sure how you’d feel - so you self-sabotage to ensure it doesn’t work out!
Fear of Ridicule: That people who talk shit will talk shit - so you miss an opportunity!
Fear of Unknown: That you can’t mentally plan or prep for what might happen - so you create a KNOWN option that you can plan for.
I love this model. We all usually have a little bit of all of these within us based on the situation at hand. They might show up at different times. And truly I could get crazy on a tangent here.
Which one is impacting you? Which one is driving you?
If you want to work against your avoidance tendencies and fears, the trick?
Controlled Exploration
Want to avoid avoiding the things you want?
Label them as little tests. Let yourself consciously, thoughtfully, attempt some exploration into the thing you’re curious about. I sometimes call this Popping the Bubble (an intensive I run) which is is uncomfortable, painful, and usually disappointing to discover your imagination is pristine, the reality is gritty and dirty as hell.
To take something that you’ve been thinking about, and tell yourself, oh, this isn’t a HUGE thing, it’s a tiny thing, I’m just learning something.
So what’s an itsy bitsy exploration you want to take on?
What is a controlled exploration? It’s a pro-actively planned test where you’re intending to learn something, and, it’s not a crazy high risk. It’s about stepping away from the ruminating brain, and into the realm of taking action. It’s about pausing the spinning wheels of research and “getting more information,” and pushing yourself to jump into information that will help you make some decisions.
Here are some character traits of a controlled exploration:
It’s reversible, not a final action - we’re not quitting our job and burning bridges on our way out, we might instead take an interview, volunteer, work in our free hours
It’s low cost - we don’t have to mortgage the house, take out a massive loan, run down our full marketing budget in one action
It’s a test, where we should get more information - it’s intended to be tested, and it’s fully a okay if we fail - think psychological safety energy here -as in, it’s okay if we fail and make a mistake, because the goal of an exploration isn’t to win, it’s to learn. So it should have a timeline associated with, stage gates in place - moments where you can slow down, reflect and learn
Examples of a FEAR TRIGGER converted into a CONTROLLED EXPLORATION:
Curious about what controlled exploration looks like in action? Some examples.
Considering Grad School: Most of us will spiral through emotions and concerns: omg what if I can’t get in, what if I don’t like it, what if I can’t afford it, what will people say about me going back to school, what kind of job could I even get? You may even decide to quit your job and sign up for a program, only to discover you can’t get that money or time back.
Controlled Explorations:
Attend an information session about a program you’re interested in to learn more and think about it
Study for and take the GRE/GMAT
Talk to past graduates or the admissions office to understand ROI and life after grad school
Launching a Company: What if it fails and I run out of money, what will people say? Who am I to run a company even?
Controlled Explorations:
Create a product market fit document, as in, check out the size of that market, research competitors, figure out if what you’re building people will pay for, etc
Pay and develop a beta product or MVP to test and ensure there’s interest
Partner with a business consultant, or talk to other similar entrepreneurs
Change Jobs: What if I hate the new role, will I make money, do I look like a jobhopper?
Controlled Explorations:
Set up a couple networking coffee chats to better understand other roles, industries and companies
Apply for a few roles
Hire a resume writer to review and improve your resume
Do you see how we get all snowbally and crazy at the big dream that we stop before we even explore?
There’s magic in jumping and making a thoughtful mistake that is considered.
Maybe you will fuck-up and realize that the product you thought was perfect already exists.
You may make an error in finding out that the grad school program you’re considering as shitty ROI.
There could be some wrongs in finding out the company you were eyeing has the same problems as your current one does.
But how wonderful would it be to find out? To be more informed.
I love making a tiny screw up.
It’s better than diving in head first, fully delusional without slowing down and testing a tiny bit.
That’s what I help my clients do.
Ideas of Creating a Controlled Exploration
Want to test it out? Here are some tips and trips on creating your own Controlled Exploration. Take a sit down, set a timer for 10 minutes, and let’s frikking do this:
1️⃣ Get clear on the goal - what are you trying to learn? Where have you been getting stuck? Basically, what is the question you’re asking. It could be something like: I’m trying to decide if I want to switch jobs, should I start a new business, do I want to go to grad school, should I re-org my team, what vision do I want to set for the next quarter, etc etc
2️⃣ Name the emotions - this is essential here. Note down how this question makes you feel. It may create some feelings of panic, of fear, of avoidance. Or even excitement! Noting the emotions and feelings coming up can help you recognize the heart/emotion side versus the brain/logic side
3️⃣ Identify the information needed - usually one of the most complicated things around making a decision or choice is the fact that we will NEVER have all of the information. I still think about when I joined my favorite organization just to discover they were being acquired later that year. Even with “all” the information, things change! You can only get clear on what information you need in order to make the decision
4️⃣ Decide on a Controlled Exploration - from steps 1-3, think about what kind of test/exploration would help you move forward. It could be attending an admissions session, having a coffee chat. It could be bigger, like, pitching to a venture fund, presenting to your board, hiring an expert. Either way, create the exploration, be clear on what you’re trying to learn, and create some deadlines around it.
5️⃣ Explore - go do the damn thing
6️⃣ Reflect - this is the step we often skip. After you’ve run your test you need to sit down and think about what you’ve learned, navigate the emotional fall out around it. For example, you may have imagined grad school would fix everything, and there can be real grief and disappointment (and a feeling of being lost) if you discover it actually won’t fix what you’re hoping to fix. The magic of this exploration? You didn’t sign up for the program. You were able to thoughtfully explore, and decide with good information that it wasn’t right for you. So there’s that at least!
7️⃣ Repeat - and now, keep going try another one!
Want a partner in this type of work to help clarify the goal, discover the emotions, identify a controlled exploration, reflect and learn? That’s what I’m here for.